Funny Relationship Quotes

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.Lily Tomlin

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were. Richard Bach

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. Buddha

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.Joan Rivers

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.Chris Rock

Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.Nora Ephron

A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.Lucille Ball

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. Friedrich Nietzsche

We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. Barbara De Angelis

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all. Eleanor Roosevelt

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Maya Angelou

She said she wanted a separation. I was horrified, and I said, You want me to wear a condom!

The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends. B. R. Ambedkar

When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes. Victor Hugo

There is not love where there is no will. Indira Gandhi

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. Donald Trump

In finding love, I think it’s important to be patient. In being in a relationship, I think it’s important to be honest, to communicate, to respect and trust, and to strive to give more than you take. Kina Grannis

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. Bryant H. McGill

I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. Pietro Aretino

The most important thing is to have a good relationship with the bike… you have to understand what she wants. I think of a motorcycle as a woman, and I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. Valentino Rossi

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together. Julia Roberts

People change and forget to tell each other. Lillian Hellman

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you. Walter Winchell

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.Jerry Seinfeld

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.Groucho Marx

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.Helen Gurley Brown

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.Woody Allen

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. Margaret Mead

The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.John Green