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Hilarious Quotes About Life

All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Woody Allen


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin


There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous


Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met. Anonymous


You laugh because I’m different……….. I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Simpsons

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.Steven Alexander Wright


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. Louis Hector Berlioz


The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Walter Bagehot -Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. William Charles Dement


‘Press any key to continue, where’s the any key? Homer Simpson Simpsons

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein


I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz


See, I got this friend named.. Joey Jo-Jo…Junior…Shabadoo .Homer Simpson Simpsons


What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?Polaroids. Anonymous


How do you get a Kleenex to dance?Put a little boogie in it! Anonymous


Growing up is amazing, until you get old! Anonymous

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you’re cold, you should go to a corner since it’s 90 degrees there. Anonymous


Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got. Art Buchwald Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Alison Boulter


Note – The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key. Anonymous


I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill


To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. Reba McEntire

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns


Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey


Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burgess


Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin


A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin


No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln

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